Plane
Will be on hiatus, I seek forgiveness from friends.Labels: Umrah
Arm yourselves against unruly phone calls
Annoying caller: Hello, I'm from a very annoying insurance/sales/etc agency. Would you like to try for our new scheme/product/etc?You: Hi, I'm kinda busy at the moment, leave your home phone number and I'll call you back later.
Annoying caller: Huh..Uh....em...What ?
You: What's the matter? You don't like strange people calling you up for no apparent reason?
You: Well, then now you know how I feel. *Hangs up annoyed*
Labels: TV teaches alot more than you think
Women, Ladies, Girls
The human species is a very inventive race. Especially the females. They have some pretty cool inventions brought about by their utmost annoyance with the opposite gender. Pumps and heels. The two most dangerous footwear. Put on pumps, take a swing at a guy's crotch and you practically crush his future. His family jewels drowned up in an internal bloody mess. Now heels, capable of exerting a force far greater than that of an elephant's weight. A little less lethal than pumps but nonetheless it can render a man useless of his feet and the ability to walk. So men, beware they are armed, and you don't even know it.Labels: Hahah.
I swear, the things late nights do to me.
I am an alone guy. A substitute person. I don't like it, it sucks. But what can I do about it? Just how I grew up, alone. Never really had that many friends. Never of any major importance. Never truly appreciated. I feel like a masked super hero in comic books. Shit, even they have friends. Superman, Louis Lane, Lana Lang, that other girl. Spiderman, Mary Jane, Harry Osbourne, and that other girl. Fantastic Four and X Men have each other. The Hulk's got a whole research team behind him not forgetting his love interest. Iron man, shit he's rich that's all you need really, can't buy him happiness but it sure as hell makes misery easier to live with. Me? I'm broke, rarely get out of the house and, I don't even have anyone to heroically rescue.Labels: Bummer
People, people. Beloved friends.
Nobody talks to anybody anymore. No one has anything to say. Well, of course they do but they don't talk about it. Well maybe they do, but I wouldn't know. Well of course I wouldn't know, They Just Don't Talk To ME. Here's an estimate of the 'rate' of people who will actually start talking to me, about half a person...a week. Yes, thats pathetic, and the kid next door is my imaginary friend. Yeah, she loves cherry soda, guess what, I love cherry soda. Yay! We'll be best friends. Kill me already.Labels: Whoopie a mental pretend state of imaginary drunkness
Lock stock and two smokin' barrels
Rory Breaker: Your stupidity must be your one saving grace.Nick the Greek: Uh?
Rory Breaker: Don't "uh" me Greek boy! How is it that your fucking stupid soon-to-be-dead friends thought they might be able to steal my cannabis and then sell it back to me? Is this a declaration of war? Is this some white cunt's joke that black cunts don't get? Cause' Im not fucking laughing Ni-ko-las!
Nick the Greek: [shrugs nervously]
Rory Breaker: I know you couldn't have known my position, cause' you're not that stupid that if you did, you wouldn't have turned up here scratching your arse with that "what's going on here" look slapped all over your chevy chase! But what you do know is where these people live.
[rises from his chair and walks towards Nick]
Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth, or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything, I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive Nick. Now, do you understand everything I've just said? Cause' if you don't, I'll kill ya! Now, Mr Bubble and Squeak, you may enlighten me.
Nick the Greek: [nods nervously]
Labels: Hahah I love that guy
Drive thru' surfers
I saw a couple surfers on TV today. They bungee jumped at the highest bungee point in the world. 216 meters off a bridge. I thought to myself, Awesome, I should do that someday. So before I die, I PLAN to go bungee jumping then piss in my pants just before I jump then just when I'm at the edge I pull out. Thrilling. Or maybe I'll jump then piss in my pants while I plummet my way down held by an insanely thick string bound by my ankles. EGG-CITING.Labels: Surf's up bungee
Tribe True Fried and Blue
I'm a cautionary tale. A CAUTIONARY TALE DAMN IT! CAU.TIO.NA.RY! Well, it sucks.Labels: Snap snap snap i'm doin' it like jerry maguire
I! Am! Iron Man!
Your results:You are Iron Man
| Inventor. Businessman. Genius. |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Labels: Hahah. Awesome.
Paint PaaaaaaaaainTT
Doing an utterly unprofessional job of painting a wall is surprisingly therapeutic.Labels: Hats off
Bummed
What the heck. This is so lame it's not even funny anymore.Labels: Cliche
Standup
Now in life, theres always that certain age. Theres the age where sweets were your whole life. Then you realize that you need money to get sweets, then theres studying to get money to get sweets, some of us grow out of it, some don't. Then eventually you just work for money for your golden years. Ah yes, 'old' age. Now how old do you have to be to be considered OLD. I think old is when you actually realize that you're going to die and a couple of other things over and over again. 40? they say life starts there. Because you've only got a couple of decades to actually live before you go senile. And what is so golden about old age? You've got your kid wiping your ass for you, sometimes its not even your kid but she's pretty hot so what do you care. You've got no use for the money you worked so hard to earn. You've got your children waiting for you to go so they can have your fortune. Your grandchildren kicks and screams. The only thing thats good anymore would be Viagra.Labels: tell me if thats funny.
Claire Colburn
Someone like Claire cannot exist here. An attractive, intelligent, enthusiastic, energetic, confident, loquacious, single, seemingly lonely air stewardess. Firstly, you don't find that many intelligent stewardesses. I mean, if you're smart you'd want to do something more profitable and secure. Secondly, attractive, intelligent, enthusiastic, energetic, confident and loquacious are "popular" type girl traits. And popular girls are almost always taken. Thirdly, intelligent, enthusiastic, single, loquacious and lonely girls are improbably attractive. Fourthly, confident, loquacious girls probably already have enough friends and by this age they don't get lonely or need new people to talk to. Fifthly, I can go on really, but I just can't bring myself to do it though. Denial sets in. And lastly, add all those improbabilities up and what do you get? A less than remote chance that a Claire Colburn actually exists. Damned movie, now I'm in love with a fictional character. Damn.Labels: Elizabethtown. Watch it and you'll get what i mean
Pinnacle of stupidity
For a linguistic adventure, go drink in with a Scott's men, you can't bloody understand them baphoons. For a totally different kind of adventure, take sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night. That'd be a shit load, and I mean that quite literally.Labels: Hahah.
That would be me
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual that perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. I want to be that guy.Labels: A random act of randomness
The world is messed up
Now seriously, all the hot cute cool interesting girls are taken. ALL of them, damn. So now I'm a loner, I lone.?Labels: 1 in the morning feeling loned
Tidings
Well, happy fasting everybody. Hope you find it in your hearts to forgive any wrong doing on my part. Will be going for an Umrah on the 23rd, if by any remote chance I don't return, I bid you farewell and wish you well.Labels: Hello Goodbye
Screw You
Oh come on, 57 entries within 2 months?! Don't you dare say I'm a man of few words. I have a lot to say, get that. I just don't get the opportunity to actually SAY them. I bet some of you don't even bother reading every single entry because there's too many. Yeah sure, you're special. Just like everyone else.Labels: How you doing?
ME
Now if there's something I can do really well its understanding. I can understand anything if I try hard enough. Now the only problem with that is my race. I'm a Malay, now we're a dead lazy bunch. It takes a whole lot just to get us off our buttocks, so you do the maths. Now as I was saying, I understand pretty darn' good, especially people, anyone disagree? I know what women want, I know what men want. Men want women and women want men in the palm of their hands, that and a couple of other details. My point is...nope, there is no point to this, just like all the other post I've put in here. I just felt like writing a lot and anyone can write a whole lot about themselves. So I can understand YOU very well, I can read YOU! Right off the bat, I can tell a whole lot just by looking at ,yes you guessed it, YOU! So now I say this, I may not talk much but I sure as hell have a whole lot to say. And no one to say it to. My life, The Pathetic Miser. Cheers!Labels: I don't drink liquor I just like to hold it in my hands and pretend to be drunk
Dying with dignity
Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. It doesn't matter if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly. ALWAYS. You can live with dignity, we can't die WITH it.Labels: Philosphy of death
3.35 AM
I want to write something funny, but I can think of anything decent...Hmm?Labels: I know I'm not using this the way usual people use this but heck whose blog is this anyway
People In My Life
I am but a name in you minds. I've lived in a less than humane world.Labels: A pitiful blip of an existance
U.S. Open
Latest from the U.S. Open men's singles finals, Roger Federer beat Novak Djokovic in straight sets, 7-6, 7-6, 6-4. Winning this Roger Federer becomes the first ever player in the Open era to win 4 consecutive U.S. Open. With this, he moves up alongside Roy Emerson with 12 Grand Slam tittles to his name only 2 behind the great Pete Sampras. Taking nothing away from Djokovic, he put up a massive fight against the number 1 seed taking the first two sets to tie breakers. However, he failed to convert numerous set points evidently showing some nerves at his first ever Grand Slam final. Roger Federer being a seasoned champion capitalized on Djokovic's nerves snatching both tie breakers. In the final set, Federer showed flashes of brilliance that has made him the greatest player to have ever picked up a racket, taking the set 6-4. And if only I had more friends who are into tennis, this would mean something.Labels: Thriller
The essence of life
We are born naked, wet and hungry, we get slapped on the butt...Then things get worse.Labels: Hey snoppy
The ABCs of me baby!
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me for I may not follow. Don't walk beside me either, just leave me alone dude.Labels: Doggy
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.Labels: He who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame
A peak into my social life
I am the next door kid's imaginary friend.Labels: cool huh
Here's why I'm not a birthday guy
Of course I'm hopeless at remembering dates, established that the previous post. But really, what is a birthday but a decorated excuse to get people to get you stuff. And if you say its to appreciate that someone on that day, then what about the other 364 days, no need to show your appreciation? Kind of two-faced now don't you think? I appreciate every one of my friends and family every 365 days in a year and hence, I don't see the need of celebrating birthdays. No offense to the birthday 'celebrators' out there. Just my opinion.P.S. That one's for you Dee, too long for a tag, Hahah.
Labels: I do lead a sad life however
Run that by me again
I am not a guy who remember dates. I am the last person you'd want to tell your birth date to with hopes of me remembering it. My mind goes, "What's that, 1st February?" And...thats as far as remembering your birth date goes. I mean, whats the point of celebrating your birthday? I am getting a little tired of pretending I'm excited every time it's somebody's birthday. Now really, at this point, what is the big deal? How many times do we have to celebrate that someone was born? Every year, every person, over and over? All you did was not die for twelve months. This is the big accomplishment?Labels: Jerry
A quan day
Ah, a day at home. Woke up early, had breakfast, read the paper, watched TV. Nothing beats a peaceful day at home. Wait, didn't I do this yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, the day before that, and the day before that day. Oh just kill me already, now I'm just a cautionary tale.Labels: I shoplifted the pootie
Food for thought
People EAT food, you don't want to see people cook delicious food and see OTHER people eat it now do you? That's why I will never understand why they cook on TV.I can't smell it.
I can't eat it.
Can't taste it.
The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."
Labels: Screw them culinary programs
Girl
Someone like Claire? Claire Colburn.Labels: She'd be ideal
About this
Go get a dictionary, put on a thinking cap, you'll need it. As random this maybe, some actually have meaning. It's not that hard figuring things out.Labels: Here's presenting Mr. Not-as-Random-as-you-may-think
Figuring on
I'm just waiting for someone to ask me to dance. I've dealt the cards. I rolled with the punches. I got out of the fire, now I'm waiting. I'm a waiter, I wait.Labels: Clean shaven and sbriets
Late night laments
What would you do if I went?Labels: To everyone
Tennis
Chakvadatze is hot. Minus the ponytail though. Truth be told, I watch tennis for the hot chicks, Sharapova, Hantuchova, Ivanovic etc, what can I say, I'm a guy. The only womens player who's worth watching not for looks is Justin-Hennin, now shes good. Nadal doesn't do weights, some serious joojoomuggumbo going on with that guy.Labels: U.S. Open baby
Year in review
I know its a little early for reflections, but what the heck at least I'll be writing something that'll make sense to you, it does not get any clearer than this. You must be a freckin' monkey not to get what I'll be saying, this is as 'in-your-face' clear as it gets. So here goes: The past year I've been waking up dead inside of my head so to speak. Nothing I've done this year really had any meaning to me, just been doing things for the sake of doing them. As if I was in some transitory mode. Of course there was the er, how do I put it, parting? I sort of 'dumped' a girl then kind of regretted it for some apparent reason. What kind of a sick bastard am I, no? Well it didn't take her too long to move on either, was pretty fast that girl. Was practically with another guy the next day, which is not why I regretted 'dumping' her, if thats even the term for it. You see, she never really saw us as an item, more like a fling of some sort, but it seemed pretty serious tho. Sometimes I wonder who was the "sicker" of the two in that oh-so-dysfunctional "relationship" or so to speak. Everything practically went blank for me after that, was as if nothing else mattered. Smiled, laughed for everyone around me. Pretty pathetic. People just keep telling me to get over it and all that stuff I already know, so whats the point of confiding if things I already know are just going to get shoved down my throat over and over again. That is why blogging sort of helps, but then again it just goes to show how pathetic my little life is. No one to let this stuff out to, so I do this so that everyone else can know, hmm? Or maybe I'm just bored. Well, in any case this really feels as if I'm talking to myself, more like writing to myself, which beats talking because you never really remember anything you say to yourself. And the one thing that I would really like right now would be a girl who can talk, just bloody talk. You can talk about alligators in mud-holes for all I care. Something so random so meaningless that will actually have me teary-eyed, choking back laughter behind this screen because my mother is 'mysteriously' behind me trying to figure out what the hell we're talking about. And why a girl you ask? It's a guy thing and I'm straight, so do the maths. And...in summary for the conclusion in this composition-like post, I have not had a good year, hope next year will be better, happy new year! God speed.Labels: some serious joojoomuggumbo
You don't actually realize anything until you do something about it
This is a fake world we live in, full of temporary ideas and fulfillment. Religion is now but a shallow pool thrust away in the diminutive unknown corners of our hearts. Little do we recognize its importance. This is just an ephemeral feature in our life's course, no more than just a scene in a prolonged play. Things are deeper than they seem. While most of us are just chasing inconsequential technicalities. We must discern the big picture, why do we live?Labels: Culmination
Fortitude for desolation
Acquitted from sleep, the inundation of frustration of forlorn. Insinuating the inflections of solitude and bore. Circumvention is futile, acquiescence beckons passing. This quagmire conjuncts with divest and void. A benignant nescience from everything else.Labels: Tristful
One of life's lessons
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.Labels: Hahah.
God's trickery
God gave human kind genitals and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.Labels: Hahah.
Divest
So tell me, what does one do in times like these?Labels: voided
The dumbest misconception of life
They say you can't live without love. They're wrong, oxygen is more important.Labels: "They"...Hah. DFB
Your regular decorated emergency
You wake up in the morning, your paint's peeling, your curtains are gone, and your water is boiling, which problem do you deal with first? None of them, the building's on fire.Labels: A theraputic chain of events