I want to wear a suit for Hari raya

I don't know if its just me, or if its just that time of night where its late enough that everything you see on TV looks good and you suddenly feel like you absolutely must have it, but I think I'd totally rock the suit. I want to get a suit. Suits are cool.

Labels: Bored. Tired. Sleepy. Lifeless. Alone. Yet restlessly awake. Hahah?

F1 was here. So when are we going to have the Singapore open? Just having Sharapova play here is not enough!

So the first night race has come to an end. Most would agree it was historical. Me? Oh you just know I have something else to say about it. I thought it was hysterical! The whole race changed because just ONE car crashed. I mean, just one? The driver didn't even have the decency to make a show out of it and hit a couple other cars while he spun out of control. And apparently some of the pit crew were tired because they kinda momentarily forgot how PULL. And that Massa guy could actually drive off with the damn thing still connected to his car, while the same thing happened to David Coulthard but he had the sense to hit the brakes. This just shows that if you're in a hurry, make sure you don't drive off with the fuel tubing still attached to your car because if you do, you'll have to drive through the pit lane at pit lane speed again because that's the penalty for an unsafe exit from the pit. Damn that was a long sentence which totally strayed from the point. And well, Alonso won, by sheer dumb luck. I have no idea what Hamilton was doing. Mainly because I fell asleep around lap 18, because at that point it was just cars going round and round another 18 more times. But then I don't have a clue how the whole Grand Prix works because apparently I don't watch F1 that much. And therefore I blissfully claim ignorance.

Labels: Hahah. As I was watching I noticed the arrows on the road. Those cars were going the wrong way.

I prepare for my future

For me, there's only one thing that's inevitable: Diabetes. Though I am thoroughly prepared for that, there still remains another inevitability that I have yet to come to terms with: Obesity. Because as a man who is pretty fit and healthy now, I am still in denial. So let me break through that, and say: Heck, obesity is just a serious but deliciously satisfying medical condition. I have nothing to fear.

Labels: Hahah. Alright. Bring on the sweetness.

Just to show you how much I

As the fasting month draws to a close, I've noticed something rather insignificant. When I don't wake up to eat(sahur) before I continue to fast the whole day, I don't feel hungry as compared to when I do wake up and eat. That happened once early in the month. But I still continued to wake up and eat. Why? Because I just bloody love to eat. Yes! I'd get up at 4 in the morning, just to eat. On some occasions, I got up, but never woke up! Screw savouring food. Now that's: Live to eat.

Labels: Hahah. Keep chewing you freaky little bastard.

Its been slightly over a year

So its been a year since I put up this blog, or thereabouts, screw the maths. And last year, this time, sometime during the fasting month coming up to the celebrations, I've been seeking forgiveness from my friends and whomever. So this year, I think I'll do it a little differently. This year, I forgive YOU.

Labels: To all except those who owe me money. You better damn well return every cent. Hahah.

Stinson state of mind.

I don't exactly like sports genre games, where you control a player or team and play the sport. You see, its like porn. Sure, its enjoyable, but its much more satisfying to hit the real thing. Whaaaat uuupp?

Labels: Hahah. Blog 5*Exclamation Mark* Oh come on. Just be mature about it and laugh.

Oh, the irony.

(0:19-0:21): Correction, four hundred and seventy-four

Labels: I am only poking fun at the ad and the hotel. My condolences to those who have lost their loved ones.

I took too long coming up with a title for this

Labels: Yes. I can get that stupid. But still I for one would like an ad to tell me that I'd have to pay. Hahah. I'm not stupid. I'm just bored.

I'm just picking up the message and passing it around

Here's another tip for healthy living: Always have a box of donuts while you're driving. Because you never know when you might get pulled over by a cop. So if you do, and he asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" You just show him the donuts and say, " 'Cause you could smell these! "

Labels: Hahah. Gabe you funny fluffy bastard.

The world is just awesome?!

If I were to commit suicide, I'd probably leave a note like this:

Labels: Hahah. Apparently I'm watching way too much Discovery channel.

You just know I'm bored

You know, sometimes when you're bored, something just pops up in your head and you think, that's not a bad idea, but its insane, but its not a bad idea, I could pull that off, no I can't, maybe I can, hmmm...? That doesn't happen to me. For me, its different. My superiously unique brain would go something like: I should be a stand up comedian. Of which would be followed by a pointedly demoralising roar of laughter at the back of my head.

Labels: Yes. I just created a new word. Superiously: Significantly superior. Hahah. Only on this blog people. Only here. Hahah.

Because life's like that and endings were designed to be crappy

I'd like to try out spelunking. Just because it sounds...funny. I mean come on, spelunking, to spelunk. Tell me that doesn't sound funny to you.

Labels: Hahah. Damn I feel restless.

Even Dracula has a love life

It's getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better

I've been drowning too long to believe that the tide's going to turn

And I've been living too hard to believe things are going to get easier now

I'm still trying to shake off the pain of the lessons I've learned

And if I see Van Helsing, I swear to the Lord I will slay him

Ah-ha-ha-ha!!!

He'd take you from me, but I swear, I won't let it be so

Ah-ha-ha-ha!!!

Blood will run down his face when he is decapitated

Ah!!

His head on my mantle is how I will let this world know, how much I love you

Die

Die

Die

I can't

Labels: Hahah. Damn this song cracks me up.

The leaning tower of pisa

The tower began to sink after construction progressed to the third floor in 1178. This was due to a mere three-meter foundation, set in weak, unstable subsoil. This means the design was flawed from the beginning. Construction was subsequently halted for almost a century, because the Pisans were almost continually engaged in battles with Genoa, Lucca and Florence. This allowed time for the underlying soil to settle. Otherwise, the tower would almost certainly have toppled.

This just goes to show, that giving up halfway: Not always a bad idea.

Labels: Hahah. Though I do not encourage such spineless actions without proper timing.

High octane

Now prepare yourself for an audio and visual journey to the white hot centre of adrenaline. Feel tremors of psych-itude rock your body like a seizure.

Labels: Hahah. I guess when I said tremors of psych-itude I meant warm fuzzy feelings. Hahah.

And embarrassingly, I open up to you, whoever you might be.

So okay, at this point, life's like that. My days are filled with endless anime watching and tennis or just some good 'ol TV. My nights are basically the same except for one thing. I've a deep dark secret. I've been watching this Korean drama on cable. Yes, its somewhat of a romantic drama featuring this guy. His name is Rain. Funny fellow I tell you. So anyway, let me salvage what's left of my pride and whatever "cool guy" image you had of me. I watch it because its funnily sadistic, here's a 5 minute rundown of the show: The main character is a guy. There's girl #1 and girl #2. Girl#1 is his childhood love. Girl#2 is his neighbour. He has a child who isn't his but he thinks its his as claimed by girl#2, she says he had the child with her but he didn't. Flashback, guy gets into a load of crap trying to be a hero for girl#1 when they were still in school, guy's life gets messed up, never sees girl#1 again, girl#1 gets sad. Guy returns as a grown up and tries to get back with girl#1. But he has a deep dark secret, hes a gigolo. But girl #1 doesn't know this. They get back together, girl#1 wants to show him her dog, guy doesn't show up, dog gets sick, dog dies because it was cold outside and it was raining at the time, girl#1 did not have an umbrella, the dog got pneumonia, so it died, girl#1 gets sad. Then girl#1 finds out that guy is a gigolo, girl gets sad for awhile, then girl doesn't care because guy's kid has leukemia, that's why guy is a gigolo, so he can pay the hospital bills. Girl#2 likes guy, girl#2 also happens to be girl#1's sister. Mother of girls, gave away girl#2 then found and adopted girl#1 because she felt bad for giving away girl#2. Girl#2 somehow coincidentally finds mother. Girl#2 is obnoxious and is supposedly the villain. Girl#2 gets in between guy and girl#1, guy ditches girl#1 and goes with girl#2 because of the daughter he thinks is his. Girl #1 gets sad again. Well, I guess that's a bit more than 5 minutes, but I personally like where the dog dies.

Labels: Hey *exclamation mark* I'm still awesome mind you. Hahah.

Here I go again

I don't get why the term 'bullshit' is used the way it is used. I mean, there's nothing nonsensical, exaggerated or farce about bulls taking a dump, or anything at all with their fecal matter!

Labels: Hahah. Yeah. Its the fasting month and I'm thinking of fecal matter. Hahah.

My Father the philospher and his son unwilling

My father has this saying: Whatever you do, do it such that it benefits other's. That spurred my brother to become a teacher. But it had a less favourable effect on me though. You see, to say that is like the same as to say: We are here to help others. So if we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Labels: Well I am helpful nonetheless. Or at least I try to be. I just don't want to be a teacher. Which I have a very sickening feeling that that's what I'll eventually turn out to be. Hahah.

Driving lessons

So I've been having driving lessons lately. And honestly, I suck. Apparently I inherited my mother's driving ability. And she's no race car driver, if you know what I mean. So anyway, during these lessons, I've learned one essential lesson: If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Labels: Hahah. Though I may say that I suck. Of course I mean I'm Awesome. That goes for my mother too.

I live by this

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Labels: That's why they stop reading Playboy at a certain age. Hahah.

I bet you never thought of this

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

Labels: Which would make me the only one who thinks about these things. I have way too much time on my hands. Hahah.

THis is a Public service announcement

Let me shed some light on everyone who has ever bought a little bottle of Evian water. You naive bastards, spell Evian backwards.

Labels: Hahah. What the people at Evian did wasn't kind. But at least they had the decency to be vague.

I do know

It is impossible to lick your elbow.



The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick is really hard to say out loud.




If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.




A duck's quack doesn't echo.




More often than not photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.





And about 75% of you who read this will probably have tried to lick your elbow.

Labels: Hahah.

Meaningless starts with 'me'. Meaningful starts with 'me'. What was my point again?

Here's something about clothing: Bras were created, to make breasts look good/better.

Labels: Here I am. Talking as if I know a rat's ass about something. But damn I can do that good. Hahah.

I need a rut buster. Someone to bust my rut.

There's a saying that says: When you're sad, stop being sad and be AWESOME.

Labels: Hahah. Broda taught me well. What up High 5.....Nice.

This is what you call getting 5 A's but then you get a C

So well, here are my results:

Engineering Mathematics 3: A

Microcontroller Technology: A

Programmable Automation: A

Machining Technology: A

Principles of Dynamics: A

Introduction to Language & Culture (French): C+ (Shove it)

GPA: 3.78 (Yes well, okay, at least it didn't drop further)


And just so you know, I intend to get a GPA of 3.9 or thereabouts by the time I graduate. And a slot in the Director's list. Not quite there yet though.

Labels: #%^* I should've taken Japanese. Hahah.

About this, this is what brazenness looks like.

So okay, there are plenty of other blogs with funnier material. You can say that anyone can be as random. Anyone can do this. Sure there are blogs like mine. But what sets me apart from most other blogs, is that I give you....Good English.

Labels: No. I don't pride myself on that. Yeah well actually I do. But only because...I look good. Yes yes WTF? I know. Hahah.

And so he rallies

I like the silence of the night. Because it is within ourselves that we seek the perfections and pieces that move like clockwork. It is but an easy sigh that we heave when we are lost in thought. A train that never stops. We are in itself, our own mysteries. And I'm sitting here wrapped in a towel in the middle of the night just typing away about things that are probably as senseless as the theories of aliens and UFOs. God never meant this for us. Good night.

Labels: Hey. We're all far better than this I guess. Hahah.

Mad world

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find I kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very very

Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy birthday, happy birthday

And I feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find I kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you

I find it hard to take when people run in circles its a very very

Mad world, mad world

Enlarging your world

Mad world

Labels: Gary Jules. Not bad. Hahah.

Because,it's not always you see me like this

It's been awhile. And I need to get something off my chest: My chest hair.

Labels: No. You actually see me like this a lot. Hahah.

On to the Paralympics

Michael Phelps. Awesome swimmer. Humongous eater. Consumes...wait for it...a whooping 12,000 calories a day! A DAY! For breakfast he has: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes. Now after finding that out. I found out something I never knew about myself. I've been training like an Olympian. Minus the fried-egg sandwiches and the coffee and the egg omelets and the grits(Whatever this is) and the chocolate-chip pancakes(Though I would love to have this for breakfast everyday).

Labels: Hahah.No joke. True story.

Temping

You have been given the provisional approval for your application to register as a relief teacher.
Schools will be allowed to employ you during this interim period. Please bring along all your original education certificates, transcripts and necessary identification document to your first employing school for the purpose of verification. Schools will not be allowed to employ you if your particulars are not verified. For the final status of your application, you may access this option in one month's time to check. Thank you.


Alright! I get to scream at kids for money now.

Labels: Hahah.