Movie

There was this movie in 2006, Population 436. Its about a town having the same population for the last hundred years, supposedly a thriller, I haven't watched it. But here's what I think happened: Everytime a women got pregnant, someone left town.

Labels: Hahah. Who said men were useless.

Read a book.

Books have knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime doesn't pay. So if you keep reading, you'll go broke.

Labels: Hahah.I'll shoot myself one of these days.

There are no such things as psychics

You know psychics don't exist because they never win the lottery.

Labels: Don't be fooled.

Try this

I wonder what chairs would look like if our knees bend the other way.

Labels: Hmmm? Hahah.

Another reason why I don't have a girlfriend

Approximate number of males in Singapore: 2,231,867

Approximate number of females in Singapore: 2,204,416

You do the math.

Labels: Well I guess that sucks.

Do. Don't.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Labels: I can handle pain until it hurts.

Hahah.

Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Labels: :P Lets just hope you're not PMS-ing at this very moment.

Something far better

Prefaced with a good book and a couple typos short of a new litter. I want to meet you half way and watch the sunrise. I want to write all day and not say a word. I want to scream out at you, and still love you. I want to find a way back further than I had imagined. I want a cute little kitten for cure. I want a great many things that many can't have. We all want...Somehting more than this.

Labels: An abstract from the shallow end. Further than before.

the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened

There's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of epic proportions. A fiasco is a folk tale told to other's to make other people feel more alive because it didn't happen to them. No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life. I am ill-equipt in the philosophies of failure.

Labels: I am a seceret connoisseur and you apathize.

Getting on the Volkswagen

The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less.

Labels: Hahah.

Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes

There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't.

Labels: Stopped to think. Forgot to start again.

Waterloo to anywhere

The world seems out of touch now. I don't get out so much. I don't feel the same in these bones anymore. My heels are all worn down, my loyalties are torn. I'm finding different paths I never saw before and it hurts less everyday. In this world of disaster I just need someone for myself.

Labels: Blood thirsty bastards.

Joke

Your mother is so fat that when she sings, it's over.

Labels: Hahah. Don't get it? Ask.

I SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP OVER THE ROOFTOPS OF THE WORLD

To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams and I'll show you a happy man.
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus, and always thus will be.

Labels: Just because its cute.

You know it

Think of me as Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear pants and I'm awesome. I'm your bro, I'm Broda.

Labels: Hahah. I need a night life at home.

Press play, live loud

You got the world boy
This all you make it?
You had the choice lad
You wouldn't take it
The oldest charm
Only the best for you
And the years of my life,
Some they were so good,
But now and again I feel I was a coward
Are the holes in my soul
In tatters for all these tears
Well you don't see it that way
A way, a way
We’ll have it today
The dancing ones they really mean it
But something boy, somethings gonna change
A way, a way
You've got it they say
How do they know
When they've never seen it?
And what will you do
When they forget your name?
Well you’ll up and get another one
Don’t give me that face
I know when I should live in disgrace
Not dig up the deadwood
I knew this place was never the place for me
And of the years that rolled by
Yeah some were so good
But now I know that
You were the coward
The holes in your soul
In tatters for all these years
But you cant see it that way
A way, a way
We'll have it today
The dancing ones they really mean it
And mark my words
Something’s gonna change
A way, a way
You've got it they say
But how do they know
When they've never seen it?
And what will you do
When they forget your name?
Well you’ll up and get another one
A way, a way
We’ll have it today
The dancing ones they really mean it
But something boy somethings gonna change
A way, a way
You've got it today
But how do they know
When they've never seen it?
And what will you do
When they forget your name?
Well you’ll up and get another one

Labels: No no. Literally press play.

Read URL, Read blog title.

Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row.

Labels: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...

Just try reading me my rights

Labels: Hahah. I wonder how many people can get this.

Leaving the Peugeot on the forecourt

I'm bored and alone, it's been far too long. I've a restless head and an empty bed, these dreams are killing me so, I'm just walking till the sun comes up. I'm a legend in my mind, a rumour in my room. To an alley's dirty end I just thought they were my friends. Doesn't matter now. So I wish I was James Bond, just for the day. Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.

Labels: Late nights are killing me.

We all do this

There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.

Labels: Yeap. This is why I do this.

Whopdeedoo

Its 3 in the morning and I will now tell you my deepest darkest secret. I am vomit free since '03. That is right, I haven't puked in 4 years. Vomit-free...since '03; that's funny, I'm funny!

Labels: Sloooooooooooowwww...

Yeah Boo hoo buddy

Labels: What up.

Backgammon

Its almost 2 in the morning, and I am not perfect:

1. I'm annoyingly whiny
2. I'm a perfectionist, and I know people find that annoying
3. I sometimes annoyingly talk too much
4. I annoyingly talk too little
5. I am annoyingly pretentious
6. I over think, over analyse which is annoying
7. I am repetitive
8. An annoyance pretty much sums things up

Labels: My deepest apologies.

Bummed

In life there are a lot of big romantic moments, and they make life worth living. But here's the problem, moments pass. And lurking just around the corner from those moments, is a cruel unshaved bastard named reality.

Labels: HIMYM

This sucks, no matter how good it looks

Elecctronic Devices and Circuits : A (Expected. Wished it was Z though, its like A+)

Digital Fundamentals 2 : A (Expected. Wished it was Z)

Engineering Mathematics : A (Expected. Wished it was Z)

Statics and Strengths of Materials : B+ (Partly expected, but FLU DUCK!! I could have done better, damnit!!)

Problem Solving and Process Skills : Pass( Not included in GPA, its either Pass of Fail for this)

Computer Programing : B (Expected. Deserve it, since I took a couple of shortcuts for this but still could have done better. FLU DUCK !!!)

Leadership and Character : B+ (Probably deserve this, but could have done better, but still pretty happy with this.)

GPA: 3.75 (FLU DUCK!!! Last semester's GPA was 3.79. Damnit!!! *Think of every single foul word in your vocabulary, in every language you know and insert here*!!!!!!!!!!)

Labels: I say FLU DUCK but I don't mean FLU DUCK. Its a single syllable word that rhymes with duck pluck and suck. FLU DUCKED results. FLU DUCKLING hell. I need ice cream.

I like giving meaningless advice like this

When life kicks you in the balls. You get up, turn around, grab your steel toes, and kick someone else in the balls. It won't solve a thing but it should make you feel better.

Labels: Hahah. New age zen for anger management.

I want to see this on a tombstone

Labels: Hahah. Blabla is a fictional character. Bares no resembelance whatsoever to anyone living or deceased.

This is an ultimate mystery to me

Why do we wash BATH TOWELS? AREN'T WE FRECKIN' CLEAN WHEN WE USE THEM ??????

Labels: I am Stumped.

A Good question

Why are there locks on the doors of 7-11 stores ?

Labels: Enlighten me.

Yeah awesome!

This person watched Grey's Anatomy the other day and McLabeled me McSmartass, that McBastard. Hypothetical High-5 everybody. If your cat just died or something then, hypothetical solemn Low-5.



P.S. I'm really sorry for your loss.

Labels: At Hash Dollar Percentage And Star Exclamation mark Exclamation mark Exclamation mark.

Advice for the hungry heart

If you're hungry, eat.

Labels: That's chicken soup for the soul right there.

I keep saying this

Stupidity is a huge problem in the world. It's a right that's abused by far too many. I'm not saying that there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why not just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

Labels: Let nature take its course.YOU. Out of the gene pool.

Love animals

As she lay there dozing next to him, one voice inside his head kept saying, 'Relax, you're not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients', but then another kept reminding him, 'Howard, you are a veterinarian!'

Labels: Hahah.

New dart

So I was riding my bicycle the other day to go get some stuff, and I park my bicycle at the underground parking. And you know how it is with underground car parks in Singapore, low lying ceiling with pipes all over the place. So I was speeding down the slope leading to the underground car park, then just a head there was this hump and I decided to use the hump as sort of a ramp to do a jump. I made the jump, was a little too high though. Hit my head against one of those pipes, fell backwards off my bike hit the ground flat on my back while my bicycle nailed the jump, landed perfectly and even continued to make the turn just ahead of the hump, riderless! Just imagine how I felt. I guess I should be embarrassed by this but in my body, where the shame gland should be, there's a second awesome gland. True story.

Labels: That was LEGEND wait for it. I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is DARY.

Advice for men

Girl: Let's go do some girl stuff.

Guy: Nah, I have this thing.

Girl: What thing?

Guy: A penis.

Labels: Hahah. That should get you out of those kinds of situations.

Slinky + Escalator = Everlasting fun

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.

Labels: Hahah.

Would you remember September

The bells of yesterday would ring, as there was a time. Days would turn into weeks, and weeks into months. I hope you wouldn't mind that I put this in words. She was beautiful. It was beautiful.

Labels: Five words less.

A history lesson

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." - General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words. This history lesson teaches us that there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. You start flirting with it, you get shot in the left eye even before you can complete your sentance.

Labels: Hahah. That's one heck of a way to go.

The difference between knowledge and wisdom

1. Knowledge is realising that a road is one way. Wisdom is looking both ways anyway.
2. Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.
3. People with knowledge would say,"Easy as taking candy from a baby." People with wisdom knows that that person has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Labels: Hahah.

Two reasons why the army isn't all that bad

1. The object of war is not to die for your country. Its to make the other bastard die for his.
2. Join the Army. Meet interesting people. Kill them.

Labels: Hahah.

Mysteries of life

Our noses run, and our feet smell. God bless whoever thought that one up.

Labels: Hahah.

The dangers of drinking

Don't drink and drive, that's dangerous. Don't drink and park either-accidents cause people.

Labels: Hahah.

Good advice on how to impress at shooting

1. To ensure perfect aim, shoot first then call whatever you hit the target.
2. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
3. Lastly, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.

Labels: Hahah. I intend to live forever or die trying.