Notice

I need to restring my racket. Anybody?! Now don't be shy. Not one man, no , nor ten men. Nor a hundred can assuage me.

Labels: Hahah. Doing it like Todd.

Despair breeds idiocy

When life's got it's foot shoved so far up you a**. You might say to me, "Life's hard." And I'll say, "COMPARED TO WHAT YOU TIT ?!?!?"

Labels: YA-HA Exclamation mark.

Predicament

Elecctronic Devices and Circuits : A

Digital Fundamentals 2 : A

Engineering Mathematics : A

Statics and Strengths of Materials : B+ or A

Problem Solving and Process Skills : C, B- or B+

Computer Programing : C, B- or B+

Leadership and Character : Screwed.

3.7< GPA <3.9

Labels: I don't plan on being humbe because I'm not that great to begin with. Hahah.

Drainnedded

Exams are finally, over!!! &%$£@*&^%$£$$^$^%$&"*£&$^%£("$^("$%£@"£@$@%@"%%@$@@%@%@^@@$@^$^£&£^££&*£""%£^$&£%£$££$£$$$£$£$£$£%$^$&%*##########^%^%^%^%^%^%^£%^"%£.
Thats how happy I am.

Labels: YA-HA Exclamation mark.

Why I don't have a girlfriend

You see, the problem with girls these days is that they're like this: Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.

Labels: Now there's your problem.

Drools

Sudden I'm watching the malay news on Suria. Why? Because the anchorwoman is GORGEOUS.

Labels: Lets just hope she's not your cousin, sister or wife. If shes your mother, you're kidding me right?

I admit

Dalinah!!! Nah, for you:

A. List seven habits/ quirks/ facts about yourself.

B. Tag seven people to do the same.

C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".

1. I silently fart hoping it doesn't smell
2. I skip at home. Yes skip as in with a skipping rope. Its not girly, boxers skip too, you don't see them with a belly the size of the equator now do you, its healthy living.
3. I do sit ups at home when I have nothing to do. I want 6 packs, I only have 3.
4. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'. While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", I muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404. I'm into poetry, not porn. I'm a decent boy, you know that.
5. I talk to myself when no one's looking. You're just jealous because the voices only speak to me.
6. I walk into a room and forget why I walked in.
7. I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. We protect. Our allies enforce. Our enemies oppress. Congress appropriates. Microsoft lobbies. Citizens steal. I have an awesome sense of humor.

7 people I tag to do this:

1. You
2. Kamu('you' in malay)
3. Engkau(Another word for 'you' in malay)
4. Awak(Another 'you' in malay, I swear this language is messed up)
5. Anata('you' in Japanese)
6. Aho('idiot' in Japanese)
7. I really don't know anyone who I can tag to do this, so I want everyone to do this. Notice I didn't say, "whoever wants to do it". So yes, do tell me when you do do it. Tagboard's there for a reason.

Labels: Hahah. Aku cool. Hahah.

The stupid things that people should try at least once in their lives

Go into a store's fitting room and announce loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

Labels: Press any key to continue or all other keys to exit.

Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a linguistic art form, like poetry. And there is no sarcasm like Brittish sarcasm. Take the scene from Snatch. Two guys dealing with a dog that just ate their 86 carrat diamond:

Avi: Well, then now lets have a look then shall we. Tony.

Blue Tooth Tony: What?

Avi: Look in the dog.

Blue Tooth Tony: What do you mean, look in the dog?!?

Avi: I mean open him up.

Blue Tooth Tony: [looks at dog and then back at Avi] Its not exactly a fuckin' tin of baked beans is it, what do you mean open 'im up?!

Labels: We're worse off now than when we started.

Turkish

As I lay in bed last night, looking up at the stars in the night sky, I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Labels: Seems sadly ironic that its that tie thats got you into this pickle.

Beauty

I don't mean to sound shallow or anything, but seriously, I have had it with all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Labels: Hahah.

Sale

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Labels: Call: 1900-43468 for details.

It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others

God works in mysterious ways. So don't bother praying for materialistic bliss, HE doesn't work that way. Just go steal whatever you want, and pray for HIS forgiveness.

Labels: A criminal is labeled a criminal when he gets caught. So you're not a criminal if you don't get caught.

Delusions

Delusions are often functional. It could even be the reason that you're still alive today. You see, a mother's opinion about their children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, actually keeps her from drowning them at birth.

Labels: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. The rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Love to love again

Labels: Song on display

An insight to my childhood

At a young tender age, I showed signs of brilliance a child prodigy would have. I was a miniature genius under 1 metre tall. You've heard how I got smart with the zipper, now behold my ingenuity as I made fireworks: I heated a sandwich, still wrapped in aluminium foil. And sparks flew, quite literally, and my parents had to get a new microwave oven.

Labels: And that taught me to think.

Portraits of the self loathed heart

Labels: Yeah. Happy Valentines Mugs.

I'd walk if I didn't feel like crawling

With past references and present notions, I'd say I've been trudging through life. To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing, yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left but the impulse to simply soldier on.

Labels: When Freddy sang "Carry on. Carry on as if nothing really matters."

Cats

Labels: Digger Dinsmoor, Nora

Peruvian wonder

I'm not going to tell you the way it happened, I'll tell you the way I remembered it. She was beautiful. She'll only break your heart. Even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand.

Labels: Of my device. For I succeeded

You wouldn't want to hear this from a surgeon

When you're on the operating table and you hear this:

"Crap! My Rolex!"

"Okay, I shouldn't have cut that."

"I wonder what will happen if I do this..."

"Lets see, squeeze this, pull that there, rip that whole thing out...Oooops."

You know things can't be good.

Labels: Hahah.

Weekend fixtures

Its the weekend, there's Liverpool vs Chelsea. So I switched on the telly, looked for the cable remote. Then I remembered, I don't have cable TV anymore...

Labels: Lets just curl up and die.

What I'd be

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There will be no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. In no respect have I ever succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived, but I have lived.

Labels: Tainted top flop follower

Move over High School Musical, Sweeney Todd is in town

Labels: Look at me Mrs Lovett, look at you.

People

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Labels: If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again. It was probably worth it.

Bleak

Witless, shit stiffless. I stayed up a bit too long.

Labels: wistfisters

Hahah.

Everyone is getting old, and dumber. Here's a dementia test to see how dumb you're getting:


1. What do you put in a toaster?
.........





Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
.........






Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, maybe a colouring book.

If you said "water," proceed to Question 3.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
.........






Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass idiot. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.



4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.Where would you bury the survivors? . . .. in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?
.........






Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.

If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question.



5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
.........







Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Go kill yourself.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.



6. Without using a calculator and only reading it once -- You are driving a bus from Changi in Singapore to JB in Malaysia. In Singapore, 17 people get on the bus. At Loyang, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. At Tampines , two people get off and four get on. In Bedok, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Punggol, three people get off and five people get on. In Woodlands, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at JB.What was the name of the bus driver?
............






Answer: Its YOU dumbass, If you got this right, kudos to you, you're not dumb.

Labels: Its okay. You're not a complete idiot. Some parts are just missing.

How about this

How about a girl who'll say, "Oooh, this is sooooo intellectually stimulating..." to a guy watching a soccer match on tv then cuddling up next to him to watch it with him. Now ain't thats sweet.

Labels: awwwww

Falter

There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Labels: There was a time

Life lessons

Never compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think.

Labels: bull

Legality

I am 18. WOOHOO!!BANZAI!!!YAY!! And in my first minutes of being 18, I ate Post Selects Banana Nut Crunch cereal.

Labels: Today birthday. Tomorrow test.