Year in review

I know its a little early for reflections, but what the heck at least I'll be writing something that'll make sense to you, it does not get any clearer than this. You must be a freckin' monkey not to get what I'll be saying, this is as 'in-your-face' clear as it gets. So here goes: The past year I've been waking up dead inside of my head so to speak. Nothing I've done this year really had any meaning to me, just been doing things for the sake of doing them. As if I was in some transitory mode. Of course there was the er, how do I put it, parting? I sort of 'dumped' a girl then kind of regretted it for some apparent reason. What kind of a sick bastard am I, no? Well it didn't take her too long to move on either, was pretty fast that girl. Was practically with another guy the next day, which is not why I regretted 'dumping' her, if thats even the term for it. You see, she never really saw us as an item, more like a fling of some sort, but it seemed pretty serious tho. Sometimes I wonder who was the "sicker" of the two in that oh-so-dysfunctional "relationship" or so to speak. Everything practically went blank for me after that, was as if nothing else mattered. Smiled, laughed for everyone around me. Pretty pathetic. People just keep telling me to get over it and all that stuff I already know, so whats the point of confiding if things I already know are just going to get shoved down my throat over and over again. That is why blogging sort of helps, but then again it just goes to show how pathetic my little life is. No one to let this stuff out to, so I do this so that everyone else can know, hmm? Or maybe I'm just bored. Well, in any case this really feels as if I'm talking to myself, more like writing to myself, which beats talking because you never really remember anything you say to yourself. And the one thing that I would really like right now would be a girl who can talk, just bloody talk. You can talk about alligators in mud-holes for all I care. Something so random so meaningless that will actually have me teary-eyed, choking back laughter behind this screen because my mother is 'mysteriously' behind me trying to figure out what the hell we're talking about. And why a girl you ask? It's a guy thing and I'm straight, so do the maths. And...in summary for the conclusion in this composition-like post, I have not had a good year, hope next year will be better, happy new year! God speed.

Labels: some serious joojoomuggumbo